I wanted to make this post yesterday, but it was a long, stressful day filled with many overpowering emotions. The toll it takes on the body, mind and spirit to prepare yourself for the worst but hope and pray for the best is unexplainable.
I'm sure many of you have seen a boxing match in your day or most definetly a UFC fight. Remember what those matches look like? The absolute extreme physical shape those athletes are in, preparing themselves for a fight. The work they put in because they know 1 minute could exhaust them. They are supposed to be fighting each other but in some moments are so exhausted they are leaning on each other, almost holding each other up in a lock mode struggling to catch a second or two of rest so they can find the strength for the next punch, or energy to take one. That there, most simply explains how both Lyle and I feel today. Not against each other of course, but how we are fighting for our daughter, helping her through this, and finding the strength to get through it all ourselves.
Chemo's a bitch.
The doctors of course have to prepare us for the worst but almost share the information of how this week of chemo will go, in almost a "bipolar" sense. They say, oh don't worry too much some children tolerate these meds at home. Oh, but some babies get such severe mouth sores their airway swells and they need to be intubated. (Straight face emoji right there, if I could put one in)
Regardless, we are positive. Bella is going to do so so great. The Chemo is going to do its job for her in a sense that it will prepare her body to accept the donor cells on Day Zero.
We got a 'final day before chemo' pic of Bella's long blonde locks! I shouldn't be too upset. Ya, chemo may make it all fall out, but she'll grow it all back after transplant.
We have officially switched from the Blue team of doctors to the BMT team. The nurses on unit 1 are very happy and excited about this as well. It's like we are officially theirs. Blue team isn't coming in on their turf anymore. Haha It's like they can get in their "Unit 1 Protocol" groove when caring for Bella now. Lyle and I will also have to attend Rounds every morning with Bella's BMT team. So every morning for about a half hour we all go over the care plan/meds/etc for Bella for that day.
Bella was able to get outside again, twice in the last week! So that makes it a total of 3 beautiful outings since Oct. 2014 for her. She has NOT be puking! It's been at least a week and she hasn't got sick once! It's been such a relief. They say the Roto virus is still showing up on her virus checks but it has prooved to be a mild case. We are just so happy the puking and harsh retching has stopped.
Ok, so... We are going to get on with this day. Bella will begin her chemo and move forward to gaining a new, working immune system! It's a cure, we have a cure for her. Some parents can not say that for their child. So tonight, if you choose to celebrate with some green beers or happy tears, cheers to Bella and the BMT that is her cure. The count down begins.
I can't begin to imagine what you have all been going through. I'm so glad you're able to share some of it with us and I hope you know that there are people who care and are praying for healing for your family and especially little Bella. Praying that everything continues to go well, that God would give you peace and rest in his arms and that he would protect and care for you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you so so much Melissa.
ReplyDelete